maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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