Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
my poor anus
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
