i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
