i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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