You're my little dorito
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
