Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
