Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She announced her abortion via fbk
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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