he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just had sex on a roof
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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