fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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