hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
