Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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