did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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