so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
