I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
