all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
