We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize