I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
