Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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