We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
this will be a night to untag.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
