Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
