is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
