Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
