Well apparently he's into motor boating.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
