is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My breasts were aching with rage.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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