dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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