Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
