I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
