I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
