Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
