If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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