Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
A+ Viking dick
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
