i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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