splinters make it hard to masturbate
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
