these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
