Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
