Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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