Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
