Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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