I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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