You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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