he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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