Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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