rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize