definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
