I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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