you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
