He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize