We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
