Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
