He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
