I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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