I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
