I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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