morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
