I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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