I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
