and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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