grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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