she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
