Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize