found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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