I must be too annoying 4 u.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
