my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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