That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize